Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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