it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Couch. On fire.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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