you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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