Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
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I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
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Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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