You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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