If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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