And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
two words: eviction party
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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