The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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