We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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