Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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