I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I want a musical about memes.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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