So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize