But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize