Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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