dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize