Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize