Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize