Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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