I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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