His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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