Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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