just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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