i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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