I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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