I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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