I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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