The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
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I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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