she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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