Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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