There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize