Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I see lights

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.

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  (254): I see lights (512): Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home. http://tfl.nu/1708
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (414)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.

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  (248): It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/2y97
  Replies (29) Good night (1200) Bad night (1975) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  They always sound like a bunch of chickens.

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  (514): I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record. (709): They always sound like a bunch of chickens. http://tfl.nu/9qu6
  Replies (23) Good night (688) Bad night (1942)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"

  (954): View more from Florida

  Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.

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  (954): He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?" (954): Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall. http://tfl.nu/238l
  Replies (15) Good night (617) Bad night (2760)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2596) Bad night (4805) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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  (541): I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/yadf
  Replies (16) Good night (7161) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.

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  (401): You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/pgpr
  Replies (16) Good night (5758) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.

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  (210): Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material. http://tfl.nu/16u9
  Replies (66) Good night (5446) Bad night (2535) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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  (323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0
  Replies (6) Good night (3423) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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  (816): why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011 http://tfl.nu/szze
  Replies (9) Good night (2242) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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  (859): I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic http://tfl.nu/wb2m
  Replies (7) Good night (982) Bad night (1976) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch

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  (812): You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch http://tfl.nu/d9ik
  Replies (3) Good night (1522) Bad night (351)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

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  (757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y
  Replies (13) Good night (1183) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

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  (289): Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating. http://tfl.nu/q7ic
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (130)

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