I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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