the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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