Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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