i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize