Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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