i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize