If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
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Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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