When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize