I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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