Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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