I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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