South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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