is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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