my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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