the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just invented taco cereal.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
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The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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