Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize