is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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