chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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