I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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